If only

In our work, we meet women every day. To work or volunteer for Bosom Buddies, means you need to have a love and compassion for women, particular mothers.  Often it is very rewarding and even heartening, but for the most part it is terribly frustrating and exasperating. As we prepare for the festive season, doing our Christmas shopping, I am even more aware of the need and misery that surrounds me. I am frustrated with a system that does not support our mothers. For us here in the trenches, we continue trying to keep our heads above water, treading fiercely on behalf of the women we serve as well. But where are our leaders? I am not exaggerating when I say that almost every woman I meet from the township is abused and suppressed by husbands/fathers/brothers or, mostly, by absent men who refuse to support them financially. The women have no power, no say, are often sexually abused or even just so desperate for love that they let go of all instruction with regards to HIV and birth control simply to feel the warmth and love from another human being. I meet young girls who have to support siblings or sick parents and in order to have a loaf of bread; all they have to sell is their bodies. Bodies that are sexually active way too early, give birth as teenagers, is ravaged by alcohol or drugs and depression and poverty.

We struggle against a legal system that is sluggish and with many cracks. Most of the women I meet do not receive any maintenance support from men who have moved on and made other women pregnant.

In the meantime our leaders are in their armored vehicles, lavish hotels and private jets, with multiple wives and girlfriends and dozens of children, glorifying this lifestyle that hurts so many. We stand next to the women and children and will continue to work tirelessly. If only, if only our leaders could hear the children crying and see the mothers struggling. If only they weren't deaf and blind to the real South Africa. 

December News

It is the festive season, a time of joy and celebrations, but also a time of stress, chaotic schedules and financial pressures. Bosom Buddies owes a huge thanks to our supporters and partners of 2012. I’d like to name a few:

• Kimberly Clark donated a truckload of sanitary towels, saving us thousands and allowing us to safeguard our mothers’ dignity.

• ATS collected and delivered this truckload of sanitary towels, as well as make monthly contributions to our project and always being at our functions – thank you guys, it has been a pleasure getting to know you.

• Friends who support the project financially – Elize Buitendag, Nadia Pickering and the Novitzkas fam, as well as loads of you who stay anonymous. (These are also the girls who keep me sane and always there to listen, invaluable!).

• Operation Shoebox for all those gorgeous gifts every Christmas and the blankets and soft toys every winter, thanks guys and gals, you make us smile.

• The Thembalitsha board members that help make up my Miles for Moms team: thanks Anthony and Jan, and start training, in May we will be running 300km for Bosom Buddies!

• Volunteers, thanks to all the women who give up their time to visit the hospitals.

I also can’t help but reflect on the women who make this past year memorable. First mention is our newest team member, Zoleka Malamba. This woman is phenomenal. I love her and already rely on her endlessly. She is taking BB to new levels, facilitating our support groups and antenatal education. She is also very involved in teaching HIV + mothers on feeding their babies and is starting up these support groups as well. Zoleka is going to soar, I see for 2013 infinite opportunities for growth, taking our groups further and growing them bigger. Zoleka shares my vision and is the one making it real. Well done, girl, I am so proud and we are an excellent team.

Some of our mothers:
I have grown close to a group of young mothers. Our weekly get-togethers are special and as important to me as it is to them. I am proud when they do well and disappointed when they are naughty (because although they are mothers, they are still barely adults themselves). Our motto is that we are growing into responsible, independent and sensible women, and this is what we teach our daughters, through example and by overcoming sometimes seemingly impossible situations. And you know what? They are doing it; they are overcomers, every single one of them. I am in awe of the strength and courage displayed by them, by the capacity to just keep going.

I am wondering tonight what has happened to some of the moms we have lost touch with over the months. Many are victims of abuse at home, by partners and parents, and often just don’t have the strength to get out. I am sad for the children who grow up in these circumstances and the cycle just continues. When I encourage our mothers, I say that about the past we can do nothing, but their futures and their children’s’ destinies are in their hands. We will do whatever we can to support and help them, but they need the courage to do it, perhaps to leave an abusive home, perhaps to get out there and get a job or start studying, often to get sterilized without the permission of a husband, whatever it may be. If they need shelter, we will find one, if they need legal advice, we will help, if they need prayer, we are there, if they need shoes for their children, we make a plan, if they need rehab, we know where to send them. But what we can never do is make the decision for her; it has to be driven by the woman herself. My intent has always been and will always be to empower, I don’t want to be just another person who tells her what she should be doing. We ensure that our mothers are informed and supported and then we leave decision-making up to her. Otherwise it could not, would not work.

I am excited for the year ahead. Bosom Buddies will continue growing, continue reaching out, and continue loving. This is, after all what it’s all about.

October News

This past month Bosom Buddies was proud to be invited to participate in the Health Summit at Macassar Day Hospital. The Health Summit had the purpose of educating the community in services the clinic offers, but more than this, it was an educational exercise in teaching the community about taking their health and the health of their children seriously.

It was both adorable and encouraging to see groups of school children getting their teeth checked by the clinic dentist and taught how to brush and clean properly, all of them leaving the clinic with a brand new toothbrush and toothpaste.

We stepped into our role of educating mothers. Bosom Buddies was allocated the responsibility of teaching those present on the dangers of drinking, smoking and taking drugs whilst pregnant. We also of course continued with our breastfeeding drive, promoting the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding.
I would like to thank our wonderful volunteers from the US, who spent three days painting our sewing room and office for us. I know it might seem like your efforts are wasted, but to us it is a huge blessing, one which we would struggle to find otherwise.

The past two years we have focused intensely on shifting our focus to the empowerment and education of pregnant and breastfeeding mothers. We have done very well but still feel there is so much more to do. There are so many more women we would like to meet and areas we want to penetrate. We cannot simply meet a new mother at the hospital, hear her story and leave it at that. I feel very strongly that we need a follow-up, a meeting place to entertain and exchange stories. To teach, to love, to minister and encourage. More importantly, with our support groups established in several areas, we now face the next obstacle: to have them better attended and to spread the word. Furthermore, there are still many areas and clinics in our own neighborhood where we need to be. Logistical challenges are what prohibit our growth at this stage. I would like to ask all our supporters to pray towards practical solutions.

An updated needs list:

1. Nappies.
2. A car for Zoleka, our breastfeeding counselor, to enable her to reach more clinics easier.
3. Supplies of tea, milk, sugar and biscuits for our support groups.
4. Baby clothes.

Thanking you for so much love, support and prayer.

September News

Our Sir Lowrys Pass Support Group

At the United Nations Millennium Summit in 2000, the international community reached consensus on working to achieve eight critical economic and social development priorities by 2015. In the words of Pres. Jacob Zuma “South Africa has committed to the eight Millennium Development Goals and embraced them into a national set of priorities.” (Stats SA, Millennium Development Goals Country Report 2010)

The eight MDGs are in their numerical order:

1. To eradicate extreme poverty and hunger
2. To achieve universal primary education
3. To promote gender equality and empower women
4. To reduce child mortality
5. To improve maternal health
6. To combat HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases
7. To ensure environmental sustainability
8. To develop a global partnership for development

As the readers of an NGO newsletter, you might be wondering why we would be concerned with these Goals. To me, they are vital. I know these goals and I actively work towards achieving these goals with my government. As an active, responsible citizen, I strive to better my neighborhood, my country, to develop our resources and stand shoulder to shoulder with my sisters.

Thembalitsha is occupied by all of the 8 Goals, working persistently to achieve them. At Bosom Buddies, we are involved in goals 3, 4 and 5. The empowerment of women (specifically mothers) is our primary objective, and we exist and grow towards this. Our educational features have become crucial to who we are and what we would like to achieve. This goes hand-in-hand with the following 2 MDGs. South Africa struggles with these. Human Rights Watch has reported that maternal mortality has increased in SA. Obviously the factors that contribute to these are complex, but education lies at the base of it and this is where Bosom Buddies is working at providing antenatal education for the mothers in our region. We partner with the antenatal clinics, and cover basic subjects such as Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, danger signs in pregnancy, how labour works and what to expect, breastfeeding etc.
The support group format is tremendously successful, as it creates a space for women to come together, a safe space to share and encourage. We facilitate these groups, we educate, minister and love without judgement or criticism. But the thought is that when we pack up and leave, the women have formed lifelong friendships and supportive bonds.

In South Africa our child mortality rates are alarmingly high and maternal mortality rates are rising.  Again the complex reasons behind this are too vast to go into here, but note that a large percentage of these deaths are preventable. As far as we’re concerned, we believe that through education, support and constant guidance, we can make a real difference.

In the partnership between public healthcare and BB, we aim to form a holistic care for our mothers. Our groups are about more than antenatal and baby care, it is about life and lifestyle, finding the voice in the mother. I encourage our women to know their rights, to demand quality service and to ask questions.
Our ultimate aim is to significantly reduce stillbirths and infant deaths and to elevate maternal well-being in our area and we even dream of going further afield. Watch this space.

August News

This month we have interview Frances, the Project Manger of Bosom Buddies to find out what makes her tick:

What/How do you prefer to be called?
Frances Fuchs

Tell me about growing up – what were some of the influences in your life?
I was raised in a typical South African Afrikaans society. We were sheltered, spoilt with live-in ‘help’, conservative, church-going and happy. I was born in the 70’s in Pretoria and remember a happy care-free childhood.

My biggest influences were definitely my two grandfathers. I was very close to them both. My maternal grandfather, prof.  F.R. Tomlinson, was a well-known agricultural economist and loved me dearly. He died before I became fully aware of politics, but he LISTENED to me, even as a young girl, something I felt lacking in my other relationships with adults.

My paternal grandfather, Douglas Fuchs, was an actor and an artist. He fuelled my love for literature and debate. We used to spend many hours discussing books and Afrikaans literature.

I understand now that both these men might be seen as ‘bad’ in the apartheid sense, but for me they have taught me so much of what I know and understand about humanity, equality, but especially love. My father, Anton Fuchs, has spent his life involved in politics and also encouraged my curiosities and I believe that my interests in sociology and social injustices were hugely influenced by him.

How would you describe yourself?
I am a woman with all that it entails. I am wife, mother, daughter, sister and bf. I am above all a feminist, a doula and a Christian. I celebrate being a woman, I love pretty things, have a handbag collection and yet I am fiercely independent, strong and a fighter.

Can you describe your job to me?
I manage an NGO called Bosom Buddies. Bosom Buddies is my passion, since it gives me the liberty to spend time with women, mothers in particular. My days are spent visiting our local hospital’s maternity ward and antenatal clinics, teaching and encouraging new or pregnant mothers. I manage around 20 volunteers who visit the hospital daily, I employ 3 wonderful women who help me to teach and support the mothers of the Helderberg.
A huge part of my job is fundraising (very stressful), so I communicate a lot, organize functions and such. Bosom Buddies is a project of the Thembalitsha Foundation, an organization I am enormously proud to be a part of. My colleagues inspire me greatly.

What motivated you to pursue this field?
As a student at UCT in the early 90’s, I studied literature, history and sociology. My latent feminism and political interest was sparked and after that there was no stopping me! After my studies I worked at Nicro Women’s Support Centre in Cape Town, where I was trained as counselor and spent time counseling women in abusive situations. I realized then that this is where my strength lies. I love women, I love talking to them, and listening to them. I love to teach and I have no fear.
After I had my children, I was overcome by the incredible thing we do which is pregnancy and childbirth and I trained to be a doula (childbirth assistant) and was first a volunteer for Bosom Buddies before I took over as manager. It has been a natural progression from young political, outspoken, aggressive schoolgirl to now.

What were some challenges along the way?
The challenges are mostly emotional. Obviously as counselor for abused women and now working with mothers in poverty, we see and hear some horrific things. It is hard for me to not want to change the world, to shout out and get aggressive. I also of course sometimes struggle with issues of faith.  At times it is hard to know the love and blessings of our God whilst witnessing mothers and children suffering all around me.

What have some of the highlights been?
I love speaking to my privileged friends and telling them about what I do, or taking them with me to the public hospital. I am amazed how people can drive past townships yet not notice how the people live. I see a huge part of my job as educating the privileged and some of my highlights definitely include watching people change.
Every birth I have attended, whether at a private hospital with all the luxuries, or at the public hospital, has been a highlight.

Was there a moment when you thought I’ve made it’ and, can you describe it?
No. I think I challenge myself constantly. Come over one hurdle onto the next.
(I love when my father is proud of me and tells me so. This to me is an “I’ve made it” moment).

If you had any doubts, how did you overcome them?
The only doubts I have is whether I will have enough money at the end of each month to pay the salaries! Faith plays a big part here as well. Somehow we always have what we need for our mothers.

What have some of the highlights been?
It is definitely a highlight to be recognized by the medical community and regarded as valuable. Often in the past, we were seen as outsiders at the hospital and clinics, but through relationship building, we have now been accepted and are recognized as vital in the important task of teaching our moms about mother- and babycare.

Why is your current work important?
So many the pregnancy and birth-related illnesses are preventable. Proper teaching of our mothers can save the lives of many babies. We constantly struggle against misinformation and it is terribly frustrating. We know that exclusive breastfeeding will save lives, but mothers rather ask the advice of their mothers and culturally, it is a huge effort to convince them otherwise.

In Cape Town over 500 babies are abandoned each year. Why does this happen? We need to understand the level of desperation a mother reaches to get to this point. I really believe that if she had the proper help and support, perhaps from a group such as ours, she would have had someone to turn to, to help. Yes, we talk about adoption and yes, we encourage sterilisation, but this is not always appropriate. We offer friendship, knowledge and hope.

What’s something no one knows about you, that you don’t mind sharing?
I can do 50 real, man push-ups in a minute!

June News

We have had a surge of domestic violence happening to our moms these past few weeks. Is it that we are just now becoming aware of it, or is it a sign of times getting worse for our women?

First, there was the woman I told of in the previous blog. Zoleka travelled to the Eastern Cape to attend her funeral which was well-attended. It just makes one wonder where all these ‘friends’ were when she was desperately alone and afraid, that she called her PMTCT counselor her best friend.

Since earlier this year, a quiet 16-year-old girl has been attending our support group in Macassar. She never missed a week and might say nothing, but we saw her every Friday. Let’s call her Shani. Shani gave birth to her first baby, a boy, in April. He is a lovely, beautiful big boy. The birth was difficult since she is so young and he is so big. Shani left her family, gave up her schooling, basically gave up her whole life, including her religion for a guy. She is in love, and her boyfriend tells her that being a Rastafarian is great; it is the way to be. And at 16 we love so fiercely, so immensely, so passionately that of course it is easy to take advantage of. A few weeks ago his violence against her escalated to the point that he took the baby, threw it up against the ceiling and let it drop to the floor. Shani was forced to grab her broken baby and run barefoot for help. They spent some time in the hospital and baby has miraculously survived and is now back home. How will boyfriend hurt or threaten Shani next time?

We always tell our mothers that the way to hurt them most is by hurting their children. This is the most extreme form of abuse – not only towards the child, but especially towards the mother. Our instincts as mothers are to protect our children, and what do we do when the person we love, trust and rely on for our safety threaten that of our children?

The important aspect of our groups is that we not only focus on pregnancy and breastfeeding, but cover all aspects of being a woman and being a responsible citizen.

We foster and encourage friendships, because we know that often women are lonely and isolated, even in the midst of a township. I want to promote a sisterhood, a society where we always have someone to turn to for advice, for help and for company. This will ensure the safety of our women and children, safety from abuse but also from lack of knowledge.

Still praying

It is hard when you realize that sometimes our hands are cut off, we have no control over what decisions our moms make when they leave our room.

This morning I had to console a heartbroken Zoleka. Zoleka is our new employee, a phenomenal group facilitator, well trained and versed in breastfeeding training and specializing in mother-to-child-transmission and the prevention thereof. I am so proud of her and to have her as a part of our team.

Zoleka received a phone call at 4am this morning, informing her that one of her patients died last night. She was shot by her husband. She was 5 months pregnant and the mother of a 2-year-old. A few months ago she confessed to Zoleka that upon divulging to her husband that she is HIV positive, he was furious and threatened to reject her. Zoleka thought the issues have since been resolved. I asked Zoleka why the victim’s sister thought to call her. Apparently Zoleka’s number was saved in the woman’s cell phone as “my best friend”. She is her breastfeeding and PMTCT (prevention of mother to child transmission) counselor, she became a confidante, but they were not friends. Zoleka had not seen her since March. What a sign of a sad society when a woman is so isolated that she has absolutely no-one to call a friend, that her best friend is the person talking to her at the clinic. Why are so many of our women so secluded, so cut off from any form of support? What has happened to Ubuntu, or is that just a political term, trying to fool us into thinking we live in a beautiful society of peace and love and equality?

I want to scream from the rooftops: NO! NO! NO!

This murder affects so much more than the victim, her live child and the unborn one. It reflects failure on so many levels, perhaps even ours, for not recognizing the signs of a woman in a life-threatening cycle of violence. A year ago (30 June 2011) I wrote that sometimes it gets unbearable, which is why we just work harder, speak louder, love stronger and pray constantly. Still true.

May News

Dazzle, Dance and Dine for Bosom Buddies, our annual fundraiser was a huge success. Many thanks to all who helped with the organising. This month I would like to share my speech with our readers:

It is not easy what we do. My colleagues will confirm that sometimes we get overwhelmed by the need, we get saddened by the circumstances and our hearts ache with the hugeness of our task. It is only by the grace of God that we get up each day and continue doing what we do. We are a Christian organisation and all the honour and thanks I have to lay at God’s feet.

Bosom Buddies was born out of the need of the women who give birth at our local public hospitals. 500 or more women give birth at Helederberg Hospital alone each month, many of whom do not have the essentials they need for themselves or their babies. We fervently collect and fundraise in order to provide women with the famous Bosom Buddies bag. This bag of ours contains a set of newborn clothes, some nappies, a pack of sanitary towels for mom, a blanket for baby and a treat or a baby product if we have. We now distribute between 400 and 500 of these bags each month. Each of the women who receive this gift, also spends time with one of our 20+ volunteers, who encourages her, congratulates her with the birth of her gorgeous baba and prays for her. I think these statistics are staggering. Last year alone we saw over 5000 new mothers.

As a passionate teacher and feminist, when I started as volunteer for Bosom Buddies, the need for the education and enablement of our mothers was identified. We were encountering too many voiceless, confused and fearful women in the labour wards, with way too many stillbirths and infant deaths. Hence the drive for antenatal education and breastfeeding counselling and support was started. It took trial and error, but the support group format is tremendously successful. Creating a space for women to come together, a safe space to share and encourage EACH OTHER. We facilitate these groups, we educate, minister and love without judgment or criticism. But the thought is that when we pack up and leave, the women have formed lifelong friendships and supportive bonds.


We work closely with the local clinics and hospitals; in fact, Bosom Buddies is the only civilian organisation to serve on several breastfeeding committees and forums in the Helderberg. In this partnership between public healthcare and Bosom Buddies, we aim to form a holistic care for our mothers. But our groups are about more than antenatal and baby care, they are about life and lifestyle, finding the voice in the mother. I cannot believe tha,t in this century, we still live in a society where the woman is essentially voiceless, often a victim of violence. Why does a video of a young girl being gang raped have to go viral before anyone notices what is going on in our townships? I encourage our women to know their rights, to demand quality service and to ask questions. Basically, to form a part of the movement of responsible, active citizenship.


In Cape Town over 500 babies are abandoned each year. Why does this happen? We need to understand the level of desperation a mother reaches to get to this point. I really believe that if she had the proper help and support, perhaps from a group such as ours, she would have had someone to turn to, to help. Yes, we talk about adoption and yes, we encourage sterilisation, but this is not always appropriate. What is appropriate? We offer friendship, knowledge and hope.

Hope to
1. The HIV positive mother who fears transmitting the disease to her child,
2. The 15-year-old mother who is still a child herself.
3. The mother who is having her 6th child because nobody has ever spoken to her about sterilisation or birth control.
4. The abused mother who fears her own home and what might happen every night.
5. Even the mother who lives on the street and and gives birth to a baby with foetal alcohol syndrome.
6. And especially to the desperate, the depressed, the isolated mother who feels she has no other choice but to abandon her baby on a garbage dump or throw it off a cliff.

Thank you for taking this journey with us and for partnering with us on our way. By the end of 2012, we will have support groups, accessible to any woman in all the areas in the whole of the Helderberg basin, all the way from Grabouw to Macassar and Blackheath. Our ultimate aim is to significantly reduce stillbirths and infant deaths and instances of baby and child abandonment in our area.

Because what I have learnt, is that sometimes a hand to hold and heart to understand is all we need.

April News

Our volunteers meet hundreds of moms each month and it is not often that we see them again once they leave the hospital. We hope to make a difference to their birth stories, to honour this wonderful day and to recognise that every birth is a celebration and is important. Do you remember the day your babies were born? Ask that question to every mother (and father) you meet and they can describe to you in vivid detail the stories of their babies’ births. And that’s as it should be! These are the biggest moments of our lives, and meant to be remembered and retold.

It is not any different for the moms we meet in the public hospitals. Sometimes it is so hectically busy in the maternity ward that we seem to forget what big moments we share with these mothers.

Imagine the scene: 6 women in various stages of labour, 2 of them in the final stages with babies about to be born, 15 mothers who have given birth in the past 12 hours, some by caesarean, who need extra attention, plus 10 women with special needs, kangaroo babies. This scene is not spectacular by any means, but it is the almost daily scene of our maternity ward at Helderberg Hospital. It is here where you will find our wonderful midwives, 2 per shift, and staff nurses doing their thing in calm, quiet efficiency. A lot is said and criticised about sisters and nurses in our public healthcare system, and I know that often you will find inadequacy and disrespect, but I have to insist that we have never witnessed that in our 2 hospitals, Helderberg and Macassar Day Hospital. The patients here are treated with kindness and patience. This is not to say that there are never tense moments, if a baby is in distress and needs to be delivered quickly and a mother is not cooperating, sometimes staff needs to act in a strict manner. Also, remember that the level of education of our mothers is often below standard and it can be terribly frustrating having to work with them.

In May we celebrate Midwives’ Day and Nurses Day and I think they definitely deserve a HUGE thank you for all they do! And also a big thanks for allowing our volunteers and visitors in their wards. I do hope that we don’t get in the way, that we are an asset to the ward and that we will foster this friendship between Bosom Buddies and our hospitals for a very long time.

Also in May it’s time again for Bosom Buddies’ big annual fundraiser. This year we are doing a dinner, dance and auction with a Dazzle theme. So put on your dancing shoes, throw on the bling and come join us for a night of gourmet food, excellent wine, exciting goodies on auction an amazing DJ and a cash bar! Tickets are only R200 per person, so no excuse for not being there….unless you live in another country that is!

Please contact me at doulafrances@thembalitsha.org.za or 0827691380 or check out the events section on Thembalitsha’s facebook page for more information. We hope to see you there!

March News

support group in full swing

Bosom Buddies was founded 6 years ago when founder Mel Novitzkas was training to be a doula (childbirth companion). In her practical training at Helderberg Hospital, she realised how many women have nothing when they go to the hospital to give birth. Nothing for their babies, or for themselves in terms of sanitary products. In South Africa, you often see women wearing towels or thick blankets around their bodies. These are to protect them from their monthly bleeding. A simple thing such as sanitary towels becomes a luxury in certain poor communities. An essential after giving birth, a packet of sanitary towels will be found as a part of our dignity gift to new moms who give birth at our local public hospital. In her Bosom Buddies bag, she will find everything for at least a comfortable first day with her baby – a set of newborn clothes, a baby blanket, some nappies, sanitary towels and perhaps a baby product or soft toy if we have one.

When I did my training as a doula 2 years ago, I realised how many women KNOW nothing when they go to the hospital to give birth. Nothing about pregnancy, how to care for herself, nothing about the birth process and very little except for myths and hearsay about caring for a newborn. I realised that so many women struggle with long and fear-filled labours, simply because their adrenaline levels are so high as to prolong the labour. Adrenaline is the enemy of a smooth labour. Women need a safe space, to feel loved and empowered in order for their endorphins to do what they’re meant to do in terms of pain relief. Which is why I am such a passionate teacher. Yes, it is terribly tough at times, since it is a struggle against ancient beliefs and influences and even culture. In South Africa, our babies are not only dying from HIV/Aids, but from misinformation, and lack of knowledge. Babies are started on solids at 1 or 2 weeks of age. Mix-feeding (mixing of breastmilk and formula) is prevalent. Our babies are dying from gastro and other illnesses that are 100% preventable!
Our mothers need to be empowered and taught. We need to constantly struggle along with them and, above all, teach and love unconditionally.

Thank you to all our friends who support our antenatal courses and breastfeeding mothers’ support groups.

Also a huge big thank you to our friends from Australia, Angel Baby, who have sent AUD$158 all the way from there. What a fantastic gesture of support and love for our Babies Born Sleeping initiative. Thank you Angel Baby. This means a lot to us.

February News

A friend asked me recently if the work I do doesn’t get me down. Well, to answer this is complicated. I love and have a real passion for Bosom Buddies. I love meeting the new moms, collecting their stories and cooing over the babies. I enjoy praying for them and obviously it is a pleasure to bless them with our Bosom Buddies bag. I have grown quite fond of the staff at both Helderberg Hospital and Macassar and try to foster and grow these relationships as colleagues and friends. My volunteers are priceless and my staff is precious and valued. Fundraising is hard, but we have been provided for every single month and have not once gone without something we need. Just last month we ran out of sanitary towels (one of our biggest expenses and an absolute essential in our bags) and had to go without for two hospital visits before a mountain full arrived at our door! You see, God always provides. Tuli asked me in the morning if it is time to start praying for sanitary pads and I said I’ve been praying for weeks but please go ahead. That afternoon the truck pulled in, a literal answer to our prayer.

I am asked how I can bear dressing a stillborn baby or endure a grieving mother’s tears on my shoulder. It is by the grace of God only that I have grown strong. I take myself away from the grimness of the sluice room, the baby wrapped in plastic surrounded by dirty laundry and am thankful for the opportunity that this child will at least have a last gentle, loving touch. That he/she is leaving evidence of a LIFE. I take his/her footprint to be remembered by the mother, that she will have something to cling to, to cry over and to remember her baby by. This process is somehow liberating and comforting.

What does get me down is ignorance and prejudice and intolerance. People are often quick to judge and condemn, without sufficient information or a full, clear picture, without having walked in the other person’s shoes. Statements like “they should all be sterilised” or “why do they keep having babies when they can’t afford them?” or “if you can’t feed them, don’t breed them” are the worst forms of bigotry and narrow-mindedness I have come across. What about “it is probably better that the baby did not survive?"

Is my grief more severe, true or deeper than yours simply because I am white middle-class and have a university degree? Do ‘these people’ deserve their children less than you or I? Do ‘they’ deserve inferior medical care and scary, horrible birth experiences? Do ‘they’ need counselling after the loss of a child?

Strange that in all my time spent in townships, gang-filled and traditionally ‘unsafe’ areas, I have been welcomed courteously and it is only in the suburban malls and tea rooms that I come across this small-mindedness and bias. Strange and sad.

Cape Summer Trail Series Championship

WE DID IT!







Our MILES FOR MOMS team ran a very successful final two races in the Cape Summer Trail Series of 2012.



Race 4 on Wednesday 1 Feb, at Tygerberg, was once again a challenge in that the wind was howling. We met some our steepest ascents and yet again one of our team members was sick on the mountain. Well done to Jan Scholtz who perservered in spite of feeling miserable and finished his race. This goes to prove that these runs are definitely not a joke and a real, definite, absolute challenge.

For our final race on 5 Feb at Oak Valley, Grabouw, we were joined by some friends and our team was a force to reckon with! Thanks to all friends of Bosom Buddies for joining us, in particular Neil Cox who ran along for 3 races, Emily House, who did her speedy thing at both Grabouw events and all the other happy faces on the picture above.

Three of us qualified for the championship medal and in case you were waiting for final results before you sponsor us, here it is:
Anthony Geard ran a total of 64.85 km and placed 17th in his category for the championship.
Ben van Rensburg also ran 64.8 km and placed 26th for the championship (please bear in mind that Ben had to keep me company for 2 runs!).
Myself, Frances, missed race 2, so my total km's are 51.6 km and I have placed 20th in the championship!
Adventure boot camp trainer, Miena van Zyl, did an incredible time of 2 hrs 49 minutes for the 25 km xterra super long run and have an amazing 7th place for this race!

If you still don't know how to sponsor us, follow this link:


http://www.givengain.com/activist/69386/projects/2172/

Or you can go straight to the Bosom Buddies bank account with your EFT. Please put as reference your name, as well as the person you sponsor.

Bosom Buddies
Nedbank
Acc: 1141018144
Branch: 114145

Why are we raising this money? 2012 is the year of empowerment for Bosom Buddies! We have developed a fantastic antenatal course, aimed specifically at women from our local townships. We are starting our first course in Sir Lowry's Pass Village on 21 February with 10 pregnant women from the village. We are facilitating a support group as well as an antenatal course in Macassar and aim to grow further into our townships and Grabouw from middle of 2012. In order to do this, we have employed a wonderful experienced and gifted woman. I am raising funds to cover her salary for the year, as well as transport and printing costs for the manuals.
This is more than a dream, this is a passion and a calling. We NEED to do this. Our volunteers meet so many women with premature babies, stillbirths or infant deaths. A lot of these cases can be prevented by teaching women how to properly take care of themselves and their babies during pregnancy and in the early months.

Please help us fulfill this, let us reach our goal.

Cape Summer Trail Series 3 of 5

Silvermine West

Our third run was a happy occasion. It was good to overcome my fears after getting sick on the mountain at our first run. I had a lovely time and did not do too badly! Well done to Anthony Geard with a fantastic time of 1hr 16 mins for this 11.8km, doing the MILES FOR MOMS team proud!

Please remember why we are doing this - to raise some much-needed funds in order to facilitate the antenatal courses we are starting in Sir Lowrys Pass, Macassar, and more this year. We are aiming to raise R60 000, which will enable us to do this.

You can support us here: http://www.givengain.com/activist/69386/projects/2172/

January News

We have had another incredible holiday season, witnessing Christmas and New Year’s babies being born. Sincere and heartfelt thanks to our incredible volunteers who ensured that only 1 scheduled holiday visit was missed. I’m so proud of Bosom Buddies!

Smiling Faces this Christmas

2012 is starting with excitement in the air for Bosom Buddies. We are starting our antenatal courses in early February in Macassar and Sir Lowry’s Pass. Our manual is ready to be printed, we have been blessed by donations  of cups and an urn to be able to make tea for our classes. In a sentence: we are ready!
Let’s not forget why this is so important: at every single hospital visit, our volunteers meet mothers with premature babies, sick babies or stillborn babies – most of which is preventable. Antenatal care is available at clinics all through the Helderberg, but sadly the clinic sisters do not have time to discuss all do’s and don’ts of pregnancy with every single patient. There is no talk of classes. In the private sectors, most mothers (and fathers too!) are encouraged to attend childbirth education classes. These are offered by most private hospitals, usually over 6/8-week periods. Moreover, most mothers giving birth in the private sector are better educated (please excuse my generalization, but this is largely true), and have better access to the internet and educational books. They read up and talk about pregnancy. They know what to eat, how to exercise, to not smoke, drink, use drugs etc. They know what to expect during labour and birth.  The poor woman in the township does not have this. She sees how it’s done by her sister, aunt, mother and friends and in this is the central issue: there is a culture of existence, rather than searching to LIVE. Sadly. At Bosom Buddies we have dreamed for a long time to tackle this. We have attempted classes before, but these did not work out. There are further challenges. Language, culture, class and this attitude of simply being with no curiosity or longing for learning. It is hard to explain. I suppose our foreign readers will struggle to understand.

This is why I am so excited about our new venture: We are not expecting anyone to come to us to learn – we are going to them. I am going to Macassar, to Sir Lowry’s Pass, into someone’s house, where I will be talking to her and her friends about pregnancy, about birth, about breastfeeding and taking care of her baby. We will have tea, we will laugh and complain and we will learn. The hope is that these women will then be ambassadors in the communities and spread the knowledge.

Please continue praying for Bosom Buddies. Although I love what I do, I love the moms, I love the babies and the nurses and my colleagues, it is challenging and sometimes it’s pretty hard.

Cape Summer Trail Series 2 of 5

This past Sunday our runners ran at Lebanon Forest in Grabouw, and I’m happy to say that the race went without any incident. I was still unwell so had to call in my lovely sister-in-law Sigi van Rensburg to run in my place, which she did super well.

We had a full team: Anthony Geard had a fantastic time for the 13.4km and was the first of our MILES FOR MOMS runners in. He was followed very closely by Ben van Rensburg, and then in was Adventure Bootcamp trainer running for Bosom Buddies Miena van Zyl with a 18th overall ranking in her category, Jan Scholtz and Emily House. Well done team!

An update on funds raised: we have started receiving some funds, and I wholeheartedly thank our sponsors. I am leading in this race, with Miena close on my heals. Come on friends, support our runners!

Cape Summer Trail Series 1 of 5

Last night we ran the first of 5 races in the summer trail series. Those of us involved are all from Thembalitsha and doing this challenge as a personal challenge to ourselves, but also as a fundraiser for Bosom Buddies. Anthony Geard is treasurer on the board of Thembalitsha, Jan Scholtz a board member as well, Ben van Rensburg my husband and I. Apart from the 4 of us who have committed to do at least 4 of the races (Ben and I will do all 5), we have other volunteers who will be running 1 or 2 races with us.

I won’t be overreacting when I say that last night’s race at Silvermine high above Muizenberg counts as my worst ever running experience. I got sick on the mountain, severely dehydrated and what should have taken about 1 hr 30 minutes, took me over 2 and a half hours. On the way home I was so sick, we had to stop 3 times. Aching body, vomiting and headache.

I have some trail running experience and thoroughly enjoyed the winter runs in the Helderberg mountain and Jonkershoek. I know it is not a fitness issue, as I am very fit, celebrating my 3-year anniversary attending Adventure Bootcamp for Women this month. This past holiday, Ben and I ran 20km in a comfortable 2 hours. I am not a natural runner, but I have been training a lot and really enjoy the trails. I am not shy to walk the uphills and extreme downhills, but always at a steady pace followed by a relative fast run on the flat stretches. I think my problem last night has to do with hydration and illness. I have had a bit of a sore tummy since Sunday so I know I haven’t had enough to eat. On Monday I had bootcamp in the morning, a netball match in the evening and I ate a smoothie for breakfast, 2 boiled eggs and salad for lunch and one slice of toast for dinner. Tuesday after bootcamp I had a smoothie and since I had such cramps, no lunch and for dinner a chicken breast and 1 potato and salad. Wednesday started with a banana, a sandwich with cheese at lunch and another banana at 3pm. The race started at 6pm. I am writing this as I am hoping that one of my readers is a more experienced athlete and can advise me on what diet I should follow leading up to the next races. Our next race is this coming Sunday and I admit that I am terrified.

A lot of the time on the mountain last night I was by myself with not another person in sight. I wasn’t scared of getting lost or hurt; I was just in pain and praying for it to end. I started feeling faint very early on and had to sit down for a while. For about 2 hours I had a conversation with God. I asked Him to help me with this race, to please let me find the strength to finish it (and it would be nice to do well!). I clearly heard God say to me that He knows that I am doing this for selfish reasons and attaching Bosom Buddies’ name to it, that I am doing it for personal recognition and because I enjoy the limelight. I have been so humbled by this first race! I do enjoy running and of course I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t, I love Bosom Buddies and all we do. I do get recognized for what is essentially God’s project, His work, and I have been basking in this recognition instead of directing it towards Him, where all the glory lies. I vow not to make that mistake again.

I have had to take most of today off to stay in bed and recover from my trailrun at Silvermine last night. I am embarrassed to have such a terrible time and that I placed second last. Is it worth it? I think it is, I felt close to God in those hours, the views were breathtaking, and I KNOW that we will achieve what we aim for: to raise R60 000 for Bosom Buddies.