First, there was the woman I told of in the previous blog. Zoleka travelled to the Eastern Cape to attend her funeral which was well-attended. It just makes one wonder where all these ‘friends’ were when she was desperately alone and afraid, that she called her PMTCT counselor her best friend.
Since earlier this year, a quiet 16-year-old girl has been attending our support group in Macassar. She never missed a week and might say nothing, but we saw her every Friday. Let’s call her Shani. Shani gave birth to her first baby, a boy, in April. He is a lovely, beautiful big boy. The birth was difficult since she is so young and he is so big. Shani left her family, gave up her schooling, basically gave up her whole life, including her religion for a guy. She is in love, and her boyfriend tells her that being a Rastafarian is great; it is the way to be. And at 16 we love so fiercely, so immensely, so passionately that of course it is easy to take advantage of. A few weeks ago his violence against her escalated to the point that he took the baby, threw it up against the ceiling and let it drop to the floor. Shani was forced to grab her broken baby and run barefoot for help. They spent some time in the hospital and baby has miraculously survived and is now back home. How will boyfriend hurt or threaten Shani next time?
We always tell our mothers that the way to hurt them most is by hurting their children. This is the most extreme form of abuse – not only towards the child, but especially towards the mother. Our instincts as mothers are to protect our children, and what do we do when the person we love, trust and rely on for our safety threaten that of our children?
The important aspect of our groups is that we not only focus on pregnancy and breastfeeding, but cover all aspects of being a woman and being a responsible citizen.
We foster and encourage friendships, because we know that often women are lonely and isolated, even in the midst of a township. I want to promote a sisterhood, a society where we always have someone to turn to for advice, for help and for company. This will ensure the safety of our women and children, safety from abuse but also from lack of knowledge.
