Mama Themba provides hope to vulnerable new Mothers in the Western Cape of South Africa by offering them valuable antenatal and breastfeeding education.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

If only


In our work, we meet women every day. To work or volunteer for Bosom Buddies, means you need to have a love and compassion for women, particular mothers.  Often it is very rewarding and even heartening, but for the most part it is terribly frustrating and exasperating. As we prepare for the festive season, doing our Christmas shopping, I am even more aware of the need and misery that surrounds me. I am frustrated with a system that does not support our mothers. For us here in the trenches, we continue trying to keep our heads above water, treading fiercely on behalf of the women we serve as well. But where are our leaders? I am not exaggerating when I say that almost every woman I meet from the township is abused and suppressed by husbands/fathers/brothers or, mostly, by absent men who refuse to support them financially. The women have no power, no say, are often sexually abused or even just so desperate for love that they let go of all instruction with regards to HIV and birth control simply to feel the warmth and love from another human being. I meet young girls who have to support siblings or sick parents and in order to have a loaf of bread; all they have to sell is their bodies. Bodies that are sexually active way too early, give birth as teenagers, is ravaged by alcohol or drugs and depression and poverty.

We struggle against a legal system that is sluggish and with many cracks. Most of the women I meet do not receive any maintenance support from men who have moved on and made other women pregnant.
In the meantime our leaders are in their armored vehicles, lavish hotels and private jets, with multiple wives and girlfriends and dozens of children, glorifying this lifestyle that hurts so many. We stand next to the women and children and will continue to work tirelessly. If only, if only our leaders could hear the children crying and see the mothers struggling. If only they weren't deaf and blind to the real South Africa. 

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

December News





















It is the festive season, a time of joy and celebrations, but also a time of stress, chaotic schedules and financial pressures. Bosom Buddies owes a huge thanks to our supporters and partners of 2012. I’d like to name a few:

Kimberly Clark donated a truckload of sanitary towels, saving us thousands and allowing us to safeguard our mothers’ dignity.

ATS collected and delivered this truckload of sanitary towels, as well as make monthly contributions to our project and always being at our functions – thank you guys, it has been a pleasure getting to know you.

Friends who support the project financially – Elize Buitendag, Nadia Pickering and the Novitzkas fam, as well as loads of you who stay anonymous. (These are also the girls who keep me sane and always there to listen, invaluable!).

Operation Shoebox for all those gorgeous gifts every Christmas and the blankets and soft toys every winter, thanks guys and gals, you make us smile.

The Thembalitsha board members that help make up my Miles for Moms team: thanks Anthony and Jan, and start training, in May we will be running 300km for Bosom Buddies!

Volunteers, thanks to all the women who give up their time to visit the hospitals.

I also can’t help but reflect on the women who make this past year memorable. First mention is our newest team member, Zoleka Malamba. This woman is phenomenal. I love her and already rely on her endlessly. She is taking BB to new levels, facilitating our support groups and antenatal education. She is also very involved in teaching HIV + mothers on feeding their babies and is starting up these support groups as well. Zoleka is going to soar, I see for 2013 infinite opportunities for growth, taking our groups further and growing them bigger. Zoleka shares my vision and is the one making it real. Well done, girl, I am so proud and we are an excellent team.

Some of our mothers:
I have grown close to a group of young mothers. Our weekly get-togethers are special and as important to me as it is to them. I am proud when they do well and disappointed when they are naughty (because although they are mothers, they are still barely adults themselves). Our motto is that we are growing into responsible, independent and sensible women, and this is what we teach our daughters, through example and by overcoming sometimes seemingly impossible situations. And you know what? They are doing it; they are overcomers, every single one of them. I am in awe of the strength and courage displayed by them, by the capacity to just keep going.

I am wondering tonight what has happened to some of the moms we have lost touch with over the months. Many are victims of abuse at home, by partners and parents, and often just don’t have the strength to get out. I am sad for the children who grow up in these circumstances and the cycle just continues. When I encourage our mothers, I say that about the past we can do nothing, but their futures and their children’s’ destinies are in their hands. We will do whatever we can to support and help them, but they need the courage to do it, perhaps to leave an abusive home, perhaps to get out there and get a job or start studying, often to get sterilized without the permission of a husband, whatever it may be. If they need shelter, we will find one, if they need legal advice, we will help, if they need prayer, we are there, if they need shoes for their children, we make a plan, if they need rehab, we know where to send them. But what we can never do is make the decision for her; it has to be driven by the woman herself. My intent has always been and will always be to empower, I don’t want to be just another person who tells her what she should be doing. We ensure that our mothers are informed and supported and then we leave decision-making up to her. Otherwise it could not, would not work.

I am excited for the year ahead. Bosom Buddies will continue growing, continue reaching out, and continue loving. This is, after all what it’s all about.