October News

This past month Bosom Buddies was proud to be invited to participate in the Health Summit at Macassar Day Hospital. The Health Summit had the purpose of educating the community in services the clinic offers, but more than this, it was an educational exercise in teaching the community about taking their health and the health of their children seriously.

It was both adorable and encouraging to see groups of school children getting their teeth checked by the clinic dentist and taught how to brush and clean properly, all of them leaving the clinic with a brand new toothbrush and toothpaste.

We stepped into our role of educating mothers. Bosom Buddies was allocated the responsibility of teaching those present on the dangers of drinking, smoking and taking drugs whilst pregnant. We also of course continued with our breastfeeding drive, promoting the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding.
I would like to thank our wonderful volunteers from the US, who spent three days painting our sewing room and office for us. I know it might seem like your efforts are wasted, but to us it is a huge blessing, one which we would struggle to find otherwise.

The past two years we have focused intensely on shifting our focus to the empowerment and education of pregnant and breastfeeding mothers. We have done very well but still feel there is so much more to do. There are so many more women we would like to meet and areas we want to penetrate. We cannot simply meet a new mother at the hospital, hear her story and leave it at that. I feel very strongly that we need a follow-up, a meeting place to entertain and exchange stories. To teach, to love, to minister and encourage. More importantly, with our support groups established in several areas, we now face the next obstacle: to have them better attended and to spread the word. Furthermore, there are still many areas and clinics in our own neighborhood where we need to be. Logistical challenges are what prohibit our growth at this stage. I would like to ask all our supporters to pray towards practical solutions.

An updated needs list:

1. Nappies.
2. A car for Zoleka, our breastfeeding counselor, to enable her to reach more clinics easier.
3. Supplies of tea, milk, sugar and biscuits for our support groups.
4. Baby clothes.

Thanking you for so much love, support and prayer.

September News

Our Sir Lowrys Pass Support Group

At the United Nations Millennium Summit in 2000, the international community reached consensus on working to achieve eight critical economic and social development priorities by 2015. In the words of Pres. Jacob Zuma “South Africa has committed to the eight Millennium Development Goals and embraced them into a national set of priorities.” (Stats SA, Millennium Development Goals Country Report 2010)

The eight MDGs are in their numerical order:

1. To eradicate extreme poverty and hunger
2. To achieve universal primary education
3. To promote gender equality and empower women
4. To reduce child mortality
5. To improve maternal health
6. To combat HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases
7. To ensure environmental sustainability
8. To develop a global partnership for development

As the readers of an NGO newsletter, you might be wondering why we would be concerned with these Goals. To me, they are vital. I know these goals and I actively work towards achieving these goals with my government. As an active, responsible citizen, I strive to better my neighborhood, my country, to develop our resources and stand shoulder to shoulder with my sisters.

Thembalitsha is occupied by all of the 8 Goals, working persistently to achieve them. At Bosom Buddies, we are involved in goals 3, 4 and 5. The empowerment of women (specifically mothers) is our primary objective, and we exist and grow towards this. Our educational features have become crucial to who we are and what we would like to achieve. This goes hand-in-hand with the following 2 MDGs. South Africa struggles with these. Human Rights Watch has reported that maternal mortality has increased in SA. Obviously the factors that contribute to these are complex, but education lies at the base of it and this is where Bosom Buddies is working at providing antenatal education for the mothers in our region. We partner with the antenatal clinics, and cover basic subjects such as Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, danger signs in pregnancy, how labour works and what to expect, breastfeeding etc.
The support group format is tremendously successful, as it creates a space for women to come together, a safe space to share and encourage. We facilitate these groups, we educate, minister and love without judgement or criticism. But the thought is that when we pack up and leave, the women have formed lifelong friendships and supportive bonds.

In South Africa our child mortality rates are alarmingly high and maternal mortality rates are rising.  Again the complex reasons behind this are too vast to go into here, but note that a large percentage of these deaths are preventable. As far as we’re concerned, we believe that through education, support and constant guidance, we can make a real difference.

In the partnership between public healthcare and BB, we aim to form a holistic care for our mothers. Our groups are about more than antenatal and baby care, it is about life and lifestyle, finding the voice in the mother. I encourage our women to know their rights, to demand quality service and to ask questions.
Our ultimate aim is to significantly reduce stillbirths and infant deaths and to elevate maternal well-being in our area and we even dream of going further afield. Watch this space.

August News

This month we have interview Frances, the Project Manger of Bosom Buddies to find out what makes her tick:

What/How do you prefer to be called?
Frances Fuchs

Tell me about growing up – what were some of the influences in your life?
I was raised in a typical South African Afrikaans society. We were sheltered, spoilt with live-in ‘help’, conservative, church-going and happy. I was born in the 70’s in Pretoria and remember a happy care-free childhood.

My biggest influences were definitely my two grandfathers. I was very close to them both. My maternal grandfather, prof.  F.R. Tomlinson, was a well-known agricultural economist and loved me dearly. He died before I became fully aware of politics, but he LISTENED to me, even as a young girl, something I felt lacking in my other relationships with adults.

My paternal grandfather, Douglas Fuchs, was an actor and an artist. He fuelled my love for literature and debate. We used to spend many hours discussing books and Afrikaans literature.

I understand now that both these men might be seen as ‘bad’ in the apartheid sense, but for me they have taught me so much of what I know and understand about humanity, equality, but especially love. My father, Anton Fuchs, has spent his life involved in politics and also encouraged my curiosities and I believe that my interests in sociology and social injustices were hugely influenced by him.

How would you describe yourself?
I am a woman with all that it entails. I am wife, mother, daughter, sister and bf. I am above all a feminist, a doula and a Christian. I celebrate being a woman, I love pretty things, have a handbag collection and yet I am fiercely independent, strong and a fighter.

Can you describe your job to me?
I manage an NGO called Bosom Buddies. Bosom Buddies is my passion, since it gives me the liberty to spend time with women, mothers in particular. My days are spent visiting our local hospital’s maternity ward and antenatal clinics, teaching and encouraging new or pregnant mothers. I manage around 20 volunteers who visit the hospital daily, I employ 3 wonderful women who help me to teach and support the mothers of the Helderberg.
A huge part of my job is fundraising (very stressful), so I communicate a lot, organize functions and such. Bosom Buddies is a project of the Thembalitsha Foundation, an organization I am enormously proud to be a part of. My colleagues inspire me greatly.

What motivated you to pursue this field?
As a student at UCT in the early 90’s, I studied literature, history and sociology. My latent feminism and political interest was sparked and after that there was no stopping me! After my studies I worked at Nicro Women’s Support Centre in Cape Town, where I was trained as counselor and spent time counseling women in abusive situations. I realized then that this is where my strength lies. I love women, I love talking to them, and listening to them. I love to teach and I have no fear.
After I had my children, I was overcome by the incredible thing we do which is pregnancy and childbirth and I trained to be a doula (childbirth assistant) and was first a volunteer for Bosom Buddies before I took over as manager. It has been a natural progression from young political, outspoken, aggressive schoolgirl to now.

What were some challenges along the way?
The challenges are mostly emotional. Obviously as counselor for abused women and now working with mothers in poverty, we see and hear some horrific things. It is hard for me to not want to change the world, to shout out and get aggressive. I also of course sometimes struggle with issues of faith.  At times it is hard to know the love and blessings of our God whilst witnessing mothers and children suffering all around me.

What have some of the highlights been?
I love speaking to my privileged friends and telling them about what I do, or taking them with me to the public hospital. I am amazed how people can drive past townships yet not notice how the people live. I see a huge part of my job as educating the privileged and some of my highlights definitely include watching people change.
Every birth I have attended, whether at a private hospital with all the luxuries, or at the public hospital, has been a highlight.

Was there a moment when you thought I’ve made it’ and, can you describe it?
No. I think I challenge myself constantly. Come over one hurdle onto the next.
(I love when my father is proud of me and tells me so. This to me is an “I’ve made it” moment).

If you had any doubts, how did you overcome them?
The only doubts I have is whether I will have enough money at the end of each month to pay the salaries! Faith plays a big part here as well. Somehow we always have what we need for our mothers.

What have some of the highlights been?
It is definitely a highlight to be recognized by the medical community and regarded as valuable. Often in the past, we were seen as outsiders at the hospital and clinics, but through relationship building, we have now been accepted and are recognized as vital in the important task of teaching our moms about mother- and babycare.

Why is your current work important?
So many the pregnancy and birth-related illnesses are preventable. Proper teaching of our mothers can save the lives of many babies. We constantly struggle against misinformation and it is terribly frustrating. We know that exclusive breastfeeding will save lives, but mothers rather ask the advice of their mothers and culturally, it is a huge effort to convince them otherwise.

In Cape Town over 500 babies are abandoned each year. Why does this happen? We need to understand the level of desperation a mother reaches to get to this point. I really believe that if she had the proper help and support, perhaps from a group such as ours, she would have had someone to turn to, to help. Yes, we talk about adoption and yes, we encourage sterilisation, but this is not always appropriate. We offer friendship, knowledge and hope.

What’s something no one knows about you, that you don’t mind sharing?
I can do 50 real, man push-ups in a minute!

June News

We have had a surge of domestic violence happening to our moms these past few weeks. Is it that we are just now becoming aware of it, or is it a sign of times getting worse for our women?

First, there was the woman I told of in the previous blog. Zoleka travelled to the Eastern Cape to attend her funeral which was well-attended. It just makes one wonder where all these ‘friends’ were when she was desperately alone and afraid, that she called her PMTCT counselor her best friend.

Since earlier this year, a quiet 16-year-old girl has been attending our support group in Macassar. She never missed a week and might say nothing, but we saw her every Friday. Let’s call her Shani. Shani gave birth to her first baby, a boy, in April. He is a lovely, beautiful big boy. The birth was difficult since she is so young and he is so big. Shani left her family, gave up her schooling, basically gave up her whole life, including her religion for a guy. She is in love, and her boyfriend tells her that being a Rastafarian is great; it is the way to be. And at 16 we love so fiercely, so immensely, so passionately that of course it is easy to take advantage of. A few weeks ago his violence against her escalated to the point that he took the baby, threw it up against the ceiling and let it drop to the floor. Shani was forced to grab her broken baby and run barefoot for help. They spent some time in the hospital and baby has miraculously survived and is now back home. How will boyfriend hurt or threaten Shani next time?

We always tell our mothers that the way to hurt them most is by hurting their children. This is the most extreme form of abuse – not only towards the child, but especially towards the mother. Our instincts as mothers are to protect our children, and what do we do when the person we love, trust and rely on for our safety threaten that of our children?

The important aspect of our groups is that we not only focus on pregnancy and breastfeeding, but cover all aspects of being a woman and being a responsible citizen.

We foster and encourage friendships, because we know that often women are lonely and isolated, even in the midst of a township. I want to promote a sisterhood, a society where we always have someone to turn to for advice, for help and for company. This will ensure the safety of our women and children, safety from abuse but also from lack of knowledge.

Still praying

It is hard when you realize that sometimes our hands are cut off, we have no control over what decisions our moms make when they leave our room.

This morning I had to console a heartbroken Zoleka. Zoleka is our new employee, a phenomenal group facilitator, well trained and versed in breastfeeding training and specializing in mother-to-child-transmission and the prevention thereof. I am so proud of her and to have her as a part of our team.

Zoleka received a phone call at 4am this morning, informing her that one of her patients died last night. She was shot by her husband. She was 5 months pregnant and the mother of a 2-year-old. A few months ago she confessed to Zoleka that upon divulging to her husband that she is HIV positive, he was furious and threatened to reject her. Zoleka thought the issues have since been resolved. I asked Zoleka why the victim’s sister thought to call her. Apparently Zoleka’s number was saved in the woman’s cell phone as “my best friend”. She is her breastfeeding and PMTCT (prevention of mother to child transmission) counselor, she became a confidante, but they were not friends. Zoleka had not seen her since March. What a sign of a sad society when a woman is so isolated that she has absolutely no-one to call a friend, that her best friend is the person talking to her at the clinic. Why are so many of our women so secluded, so cut off from any form of support? What has happened to Ubuntu, or is that just a political term, trying to fool us into thinking we live in a beautiful society of peace and love and equality?

I want to scream from the rooftops: NO! NO! NO!

This murder affects so much more than the victim, her live child and the unborn one. It reflects failure on so many levels, perhaps even ours, for not recognizing the signs of a woman in a life-threatening cycle of violence. A year ago (30 June 2011) I wrote that sometimes it gets unbearable, which is why we just work harder, speak louder, love stronger and pray constantly. Still true.

May News

Dazzle, Dance and Dine for Bosom Buddies, our annual fundraiser was a huge success. Many thanks to all who helped with the organising. This month I would like to share my speech with our readers:

It is not easy what we do. My colleagues will confirm that sometimes we get overwhelmed by the need, we get saddened by the circumstances and our hearts ache with the hugeness of our task. It is only by the grace of God that we get up each day and continue doing what we do. We are a Christian organisation and all the honour and thanks I have to lay at God’s feet.

Bosom Buddies was born out of the need of the women who give birth at our local public hospitals. 500 or more women give birth at Helederberg Hospital alone each month, many of whom do not have the essentials they need for themselves or their babies. We fervently collect and fundraise in order to provide women with the famous Bosom Buddies bag. This bag of ours contains a set of newborn clothes, some nappies, a pack of sanitary towels for mom, a blanket for baby and a treat or a baby product if we have. We now distribute between 400 and 500 of these bags each month. Each of the women who receive this gift, also spends time with one of our 20+ volunteers, who encourages her, congratulates her with the birth of her gorgeous baba and prays for her. I think these statistics are staggering. Last year alone we saw over 5000 new mothers.

As a passionate teacher and feminist, when I started as volunteer for Bosom Buddies, the need for the education and enablement of our mothers was identified. We were encountering too many voiceless, confused and fearful women in the labour wards, with way too many stillbirths and infant deaths. Hence the drive for antenatal education and breastfeeding counselling and support was started. It took trial and error, but the support group format is tremendously successful. Creating a space for women to come together, a safe space to share and encourage EACH OTHER. We facilitate these groups, we educate, minister and love without judgment or criticism. But the thought is that when we pack up and leave, the women have formed lifelong friendships and supportive bonds.


We work closely with the local clinics and hospitals; in fact, Bosom Buddies is the only civilian organisation to serve on several breastfeeding committees and forums in the Helderberg. In this partnership between public healthcare and Bosom Buddies, we aim to form a holistic care for our mothers. But our groups are about more than antenatal and baby care, they are about life and lifestyle, finding the voice in the mother. I cannot believe tha,t in this century, we still live in a society where the woman is essentially voiceless, often a victim of violence. Why does a video of a young girl being gang raped have to go viral before anyone notices what is going on in our townships? I encourage our women to know their rights, to demand quality service and to ask questions. Basically, to form a part of the movement of responsible, active citizenship.


In Cape Town over 500 babies are abandoned each year. Why does this happen? We need to understand the level of desperation a mother reaches to get to this point. I really believe that if she had the proper help and support, perhaps from a group such as ours, she would have had someone to turn to, to help. Yes, we talk about adoption and yes, we encourage sterilisation, but this is not always appropriate. What is appropriate? We offer friendship, knowledge and hope.

Hope to
1. The HIV positive mother who fears transmitting the disease to her child,
2. The 15-year-old mother who is still a child herself.
3. The mother who is having her 6th child because nobody has ever spoken to her about sterilisation or birth control.
4. The abused mother who fears her own home and what might happen every night.
5. Even the mother who lives on the street and and gives birth to a baby with foetal alcohol syndrome.
6. And especially to the desperate, the depressed, the isolated mother who feels she has no other choice but to abandon her baby on a garbage dump or throw it off a cliff.

Thank you for taking this journey with us and for partnering with us on our way. By the end of 2012, we will have support groups, accessible to any woman in all the areas in the whole of the Helderberg basin, all the way from Grabouw to Macassar and Blackheath. Our ultimate aim is to significantly reduce stillbirths and infant deaths and instances of baby and child abandonment in our area.

Because what I have learnt, is that sometimes a hand to hold and heart to understand is all we need.

April News

Our volunteers meet hundreds of moms each month and it is not often that we see them again once they leave the hospital. We hope to make a difference to their birth stories, to honour this wonderful day and to recognise that every birth is a celebration and is important. Do you remember the day your babies were born? Ask that question to every mother (and father) you meet and they can describe to you in vivid detail the stories of their babies’ births. And that’s as it should be! These are the biggest moments of our lives, and meant to be remembered and retold.

It is not any different for the moms we meet in the public hospitals. Sometimes it is so hectically busy in the maternity ward that we seem to forget what big moments we share with these mothers.

Imagine the scene: 6 women in various stages of labour, 2 of them in the final stages with babies about to be born, 15 mothers who have given birth in the past 12 hours, some by caesarean, who need extra attention, plus 10 women with special needs, kangaroo babies. This scene is not spectacular by any means, but it is the almost daily scene of our maternity ward at Helderberg Hospital. It is here where you will find our wonderful midwives, 2 per shift, and staff nurses doing their thing in calm, quiet efficiency. A lot is said and criticised about sisters and nurses in our public healthcare system, and I know that often you will find inadequacy and disrespect, but I have to insist that we have never witnessed that in our 2 hospitals, Helderberg and Macassar Day Hospital. The patients here are treated with kindness and patience. This is not to say that there are never tense moments, if a baby is in distress and needs to be delivered quickly and a mother is not cooperating, sometimes staff needs to act in a strict manner. Also, remember that the level of education of our mothers is often below standard and it can be terribly frustrating having to work with them.

In May we celebrate Midwives’ Day and Nurses Day and I think they definitely deserve a HUGE thank you for all they do! And also a big thanks for allowing our volunteers and visitors in their wards. I do hope that we don’t get in the way, that we are an asset to the ward and that we will foster this friendship between Bosom Buddies and our hospitals for a very long time.

Also in May it’s time again for Bosom Buddies’ big annual fundraiser. This year we are doing a dinner, dance and auction with a Dazzle theme. So put on your dancing shoes, throw on the bling and come join us for a night of gourmet food, excellent wine, exciting goodies on auction an amazing DJ and a cash bar! Tickets are only R200 per person, so no excuse for not being there….unless you live in another country that is!

Please contact me at doulafrances@thembalitsha.org.za or 0827691380 or check out the events section on Thembalitsha’s facebook page for more information. We hope to see you there!