Still praying

It is hard when you realize that sometimes our hands are cut off, we have no control over what decisions our moms make when they leave our room.

This morning I had to console a heartbroken Zoleka. Zoleka is our new employee, a phenomenal group facilitator, well trained and versed in breastfeeding training and specializing in mother-to-child-transmission and the prevention thereof. I am so proud of her and to have her as a part of our team.

Zoleka received a phone call at 4am this morning, informing her that one of her patients died last night. She was shot by her husband. She was 5 months pregnant and the mother of a 2-year-old. A few months ago she confessed to Zoleka that upon divulging to her husband that she is HIV positive, he was furious and threatened to reject her. Zoleka thought the issues have since been resolved. I asked Zoleka why the victim’s sister thought to call her. Apparently Zoleka’s number was saved in the woman’s cell phone as “my best friend”. She is her breastfeeding and PMTCT (prevention of mother to child transmission) counselor, she became a confidante, but they were not friends. Zoleka had not seen her since March. What a sign of a sad society when a woman is so isolated that she has absolutely no-one to call a friend, that her best friend is the person talking to her at the clinic. Why are so many of our women so secluded, so cut off from any form of support? What has happened to Ubuntu, or is that just a political term, trying to fool us into thinking we live in a beautiful society of peace and love and equality?

I want to scream from the rooftops: NO! NO! NO!

This murder affects so much more than the victim, her live child and the unborn one. It reflects failure on so many levels, perhaps even ours, for not recognizing the signs of a woman in a life-threatening cycle of violence. A year ago (30 June 2011) I wrote that sometimes it gets unbearable, which is why we just work harder, speak louder, love stronger and pray constantly. Still true.