May News

Some of the MFM team - finished!!!

Miles for Moms 2013 was yet another colossal challenge, with 11 of us taking on the Jonkershoek Mountain Challenge on 5 May. I am happy to say that we all survived and did extremely well. We have an amazingly fit and fearless team of runners of who I am very proud. Anthony, James and Charles undertook the extreme 35km distance. Brave men, all three of them! Emily, Willemien, André-Hugo, Jan, Ben and myself braved the 21km (very, very far for a trailrun) and speedsters Monique and Hanel sprinted the 10km.

Why did we do this? We are running to raise awareness for our project, the plights of mothers in our area and to raise some funds. Thank you for your help in spreading our message – that every new life is a celebration, that all mothers need support and compassion, that we are eliminating infant mortality and morbidity in our area through empowerment and education of mothers.

On Sunday 12 May we celebrated Mother’s day. It is on these days that I would like to encourage our supporters to particularly keep disadvantaged mothers in mind and in prayer. Too many of the women we meet are never celebrated, never acknowledged for their roles and tireless work in raising their children, often alone with little or no support from husbands or partners.

In South Africa, it is with more than poverty we struggle with. We are continuously battling legacies from a past that we can’t seem to shake off. Our constitution is of the best in the world, yet our legal and judicial system is sluggish and practically often works against women. Marriage seems to be a custom that is out-dated and not practiced too often, even in relatively conservative cultures in South Africa. Mothers are getting younger, with teenage pregnancies on the increase in the Western Cape, while infant and maternal deaths are on the rise. The gap between rich and poor seems to be on the rise – and at the bottom of the barrel is the woman, and consequently her children. She is poverty-stricken, exhausted and often so intent on survival that she forgets to look beyond her day-to-day existence to the future of her children. I see too many children who don’t attend school, even if schooling might be readily available and affordable. When asked why, the answer is often that the child does not want to go to school. With a mother too tired of fighting for basic rights such as sanitation and water, maintenance payments by an absent father, and a violent society, she does not feel up to the struggle of forcing the child to go to school.

Bosom Buddies is a feminist organisation. We aim to define and determine social justice for women, in particular for mothers. We educate, empower and encourage mothers. We are activists for the rights of mothers. We meet pregnant and breastfeeding mothers and communicate, listen and teach. We dream of one day shrugging off the remnants of inequality and disparity when it comes to daily living, access and traditional roles.

April News

Education, Education, Education!

We are so proud of our expansion into the education field of preventative healthcare. This is what we are passionate about and in our purpose to actively and positively impact infant mortality and morbidity rates we are working without ceasing.

We are pleased to now officially partner with the City of Cape Town as well as the Department of Health in the campaign of breastfeeding education and support. As of this month, we are happy to announce the employment of another amazing and experienced breastfeeding counsellor, Liezl Bantham. For the past 8 years she has worked as a peer counsellor at the Macassar Day Hospital and she will now be a part of the Bosom Buddies team, educating at clinics in Eersteriver, Grabouw, Strand and Gordons Bay. For our next newsletter, we promise an introductory interview with Liezl.

I had the privilege to be invited to lecture at the Khayelitsha District Hospital’s quarterly 20-hour training in breastfeeding management. The training of nursing staff and peer counsellors falls under our mission and it is in recognition of the work we are doing and the expertise and respect we have garnered in our field that we are invited to participate in the training of staff.

My colleague from the Village of Hope, Tim, introduced me to a woman who looks after 10 children, all under 2 years old, in her shack in Grabouw’s Iraq settlement. Visiting her home was another sobering reminder of the need in our urban townships. All these children are cared for without easy access to running water or electricity. The shack is bare of any furnishings and the children had no toys or any other form of stimulation. I realise of course that our preoccupation with breastfeeding and education has limits, especially for those mothers who have to go to work and need to leave their babies in the care of a woman without a fridge or means for heating expressed breast milk. It is equally as difficult for her to properly sterilise and mix formula bottles. It is near impossible for the mother to express and keep breast milk without a fridge, especially during the summer months. This dilemma disconcerts and disturbs me, since no obvious solution can be found. This is just another reminder of how desperation forces our mothers to make very difficult decisions.

Please support our Miles for Moms team. We are running up a mountain for our cause on 5 May! Next month we will have results and pictures.

ALSO! - If you've not checked out our new film 'Ovayo's Story of Hope' please do and let us know what you think!

March News

There has been a lot of debate on our social platforms surrounding breastfeeding vs bottle feeding. One might wonder why we would invest so much in educating mothers on this issue. People are often surprised when I mention the topic. Or activists for breastfeeding are branded as ‘hippies and Nazis’. Yes, I have been called both. Let me explain my views as endorsed by our own Department of Health, by the World Health Organisation and UNICEF.

A middle class mother in urban areas in Europe has the benefits of antenatal education, of clean running water, of sterilising equipment, enough money to buy formula milk, help and resources nearby. She would be (one would hope) properly educated around the benefits of breastfeeding, on how to deal with difficulties and she would be literate in order to read and understand mixing instructions on the formula tin.

It is true that some women are unable to breastfeed for some specific medical reason; it
is also true that women don’t have the support to be successful at breastfeeding. Often problems with lack of supply are mentioned. Lack of supply can be directly linked to lack of information Bottles and pacifiers (of any kind) detrimentally affect breast milk supply.

In a new report by Save the Children, it is estimated that 830,000 babies could be saved every year if they were breastfed in the first hour of life. The colostrum, or first milk, provides potent antibodies that protects against disease. Breastfeeding in that golden hour after the baby’s birth typically leads to exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months.

So why isn't this happening? Save the Children identifies four major barriers to breastfeeding:

1) Community and cultural pressures
2) The health worker shortage
3) Lack of maternity legislation
4) Inappropriate marketing of breast-milk substitutes

In the developing world (this includes South Africa); the price paid is particularly high. A baby dies every 30 seconds for lack of protection breastfeeding provides against malnutrition and deadly disease.

What does all this have to do with Bosom Buddies? Our work is done in urban Cape Town, but we are definitely not exempt from these statistics and struggles. Anywhere in South Africa, our townships are places of poverty, struggle and hardship, particularly for the women and mothers. I always emphasise to the mothers in our support groups that the most significant hurt you can hurt a mother, is the pain of losing a child. In spite of access to medical care, all 4 of the above barriers still affect our mothers. Bosom Buddies is employing another breastfeeding expert from April, to help us to reach more women and to positively impact the infant mortality and morbidity rates in our area.

February News

Miles for Moms Team 2012

The Miles for Moms team is back! Our challenge this year is the Jonkershoek Mountain Challenge on 5 May. Our team will be running up the treacherous and challenging Stellenbosch mountains in an effort to raise awareness and funds for Bosom Buddies. And as a special treat we have a celeb joining us! Watch this space…

This month we are growing our support groups
and antenatal efforts. We will be joining our colleagues and friends in Grabouw in the upliftment of that area, in particularly focusing on the mothers we love so much. We will have a daily presence in the MOU of the day hospital, where our employee will do what we do best – educate, support, inspire and offer hope. We are excited for this new venture and so grateful for our growth and progress.
We are also happy to be advancing into Strand and Gordons Bay, where will support the clinics at Fagan street, as well as Gordons Bay and Ikwezi.

Along with the rest of South Africa, I am outraged by the death and murder of Anene Booysen and I am pleased that it is receiving this much attention in the press, with vigils and marches and front page stories. What saddens and frustrates me is why it has taken so long to be outraged by what happens on a DAILY basis in our townships and rural areas. It is no exaggeration to say that this is a daily occurrence
to many many girls and women in our country. I am glad we are finally giving the issue some attention, but frustrated for the many years wasted. I know many teenage girls who have been brutally raped, sodomised and abused and have to see their rapists regularly out of fear to report the cases or because of our often futile social and justice system. Added in the mix are leaders that, if not condone, then silently commend such behaviour. I do hope that Anene’s death will mean swifter and more effective justice, compassion and tolerance for our women.

Some statistics: During 2011/2012 over 64 000 sexual offenses were reported in RSA. These are the reported cases. A girl like Anene had to die a violent death in order for people to take notice. Like I say, frustrating.

January News

The Kangaroo Room at Christmas

Christmas-time is always bittersweet for us at Bosom Buddies. We receive a pile of gorgeous gifts from the amazing Operation Shoebox and it is a real treat to deliver these on Christmas morning as well as on New Year’s Day. I also love the optimism and excitement that surround the start of a new year; people just tend to be a little bit more hopeful for the future, specifically the year ahead. That, coupled with the miracle we witness daily, BIRTH, makes for a season of new beginnings, a happy summertime enthusiasm that we encounter in the passages of the maternity and labour ward at the hospital. It is plainly happy.

The bitter part is for the mothers who have to spend this time with their sick or premature babies at the hospital. It is especially hard for anyone to worry about a sick baby when everyone else is happy, and overindulging in festivities. The kangaroo room was full to bursting at Christmas time. I loved to see how these mothers made the best of being where they are, supporting and loving each other. I loved how happy they were to get their presents, spoiling their tiny little babies.

Unfortunately we continue to have babies born sleeping, even at these times, and sadly encountered one on Christmas day as well as 31 December. It is small solace to be able to provide a shoulder to cry on and a prayer for the mother at this time, but it is a shoulder she would not have had, had we not been there, a prayer nobody would have prayed was it not for Bosom Buddies. We have exciting plans for 2013 in offering counseling for these mothers from our premises. Please continue to pray for this project, Babies Born Sleeping has always been close to our hearts.

We are also extending our breastfeeding support group services and will be offering a group from Ikwezi shortly. Breastfeeding education is particularly important at this time, as it is gastro season. I am aware of 4 babies dying in our area from complications of diarrhea. The frustration is that these are preventable with the right education and support.

Thanks again to Operation Shoebox for the gorgeous gifts. We love Shoeboxers!

Finally, we are excited to receive 50 cases of sanitary towels for Kimberly Clark this week! It is wonderful when our biggest problem is where to store our stuff! The year is off to a great start.

If only

In our work, we meet women every day. To work or volunteer for Bosom Buddies, means you need to have a love and compassion for women, particular mothers.  Often it is very rewarding and even heartening, but for the most part it is terribly frustrating and exasperating. As we prepare for the festive season, doing our Christmas shopping, I am even more aware of the need and misery that surrounds me. I am frustrated with a system that does not support our mothers. For us here in the trenches, we continue trying to keep our heads above water, treading fiercely on behalf of the women we serve as well. But where are our leaders? I am not exaggerating when I say that almost every woman I meet from the township is abused and suppressed by husbands/fathers/brothers or, mostly, by absent men who refuse to support them financially. The women have no power, no say, are often sexually abused or even just so desperate for love that they let go of all instruction with regards to HIV and birth control simply to feel the warmth and love from another human being. I meet young girls who have to support siblings or sick parents and in order to have a loaf of bread; all they have to sell is their bodies. Bodies that are sexually active way too early, give birth as teenagers, is ravaged by alcohol or drugs and depression and poverty.

We struggle against a legal system that is sluggish and with many cracks. Most of the women I meet do not receive any maintenance support from men who have moved on and made other women pregnant.

In the meantime our leaders are in their armored vehicles, lavish hotels and private jets, with multiple wives and girlfriends and dozens of children, glorifying this lifestyle that hurts so many. We stand next to the women and children and will continue to work tirelessly. If only, if only our leaders could hear the children crying and see the mothers struggling. If only they weren't deaf and blind to the real South Africa. 

December News

It is the festive season, a time of joy and celebrations, but also a time of stress, chaotic schedules and financial pressures. Bosom Buddies owes a huge thanks to our supporters and partners of 2012. I’d like to name a few:

• Kimberly Clark donated a truckload of sanitary towels, saving us thousands and allowing us to safeguard our mothers’ dignity.

• ATS collected and delivered this truckload of sanitary towels, as well as make monthly contributions to our project and always being at our functions – thank you guys, it has been a pleasure getting to know you.

• Friends who support the project financially – Elize Buitendag, Nadia Pickering and the Novitzkas fam, as well as loads of you who stay anonymous. (These are also the girls who keep me sane and always there to listen, invaluable!).

• Operation Shoebox for all those gorgeous gifts every Christmas and the blankets and soft toys every winter, thanks guys and gals, you make us smile.

• The Thembalitsha board members that help make up my Miles for Moms team: thanks Anthony and Jan, and start training, in May we will be running 300km for Bosom Buddies!

• Volunteers, thanks to all the women who give up their time to visit the hospitals.

I also can’t help but reflect on the women who make this past year memorable. First mention is our newest team member, Zoleka Malamba. This woman is phenomenal. I love her and already rely on her endlessly. She is taking BB to new levels, facilitating our support groups and antenatal education. She is also very involved in teaching HIV + mothers on feeding their babies and is starting up these support groups as well. Zoleka is going to soar, I see for 2013 infinite opportunities for growth, taking our groups further and growing them bigger. Zoleka shares my vision and is the one making it real. Well done, girl, I am so proud and we are an excellent team.

Some of our mothers:
I have grown close to a group of young mothers. Our weekly get-togethers are special and as important to me as it is to them. I am proud when they do well and disappointed when they are naughty (because although they are mothers, they are still barely adults themselves). Our motto is that we are growing into responsible, independent and sensible women, and this is what we teach our daughters, through example and by overcoming sometimes seemingly impossible situations. And you know what? They are doing it; they are overcomers, every single one of them. I am in awe of the strength and courage displayed by them, by the capacity to just keep going.

I am wondering tonight what has happened to some of the moms we have lost touch with over the months. Many are victims of abuse at home, by partners and parents, and often just don’t have the strength to get out. I am sad for the children who grow up in these circumstances and the cycle just continues. When I encourage our mothers, I say that about the past we can do nothing, but their futures and their children’s’ destinies are in their hands. We will do whatever we can to support and help them, but they need the courage to do it, perhaps to leave an abusive home, perhaps to get out there and get a job or start studying, often to get sterilized without the permission of a husband, whatever it may be. If they need shelter, we will find one, if they need legal advice, we will help, if they need prayer, we are there, if they need shoes for their children, we make a plan, if they need rehab, we know where to send them. But what we can never do is make the decision for her; it has to be driven by the woman herself. My intent has always been and will always be to empower, I don’t want to be just another person who tells her what she should be doing. We ensure that our mothers are informed and supported and then we leave decision-making up to her. Otherwise it could not, would not work.

I am excited for the year ahead. Bosom Buddies will continue growing, continue reaching out, and continue loving. This is, after all what it’s all about.